


what if we're all just broken shelves, full of someone else's thoughts

by dewekbwankies (suicidalzombie)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Established Relationship, Human Stiles, M/M, Werewolf Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicidalzombie/pseuds/dewekbwankies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is convinced that Derek is cheating on him, since he’s disappearing some nights and coming home in clothes he didn’t wear out. Stiles wants to know who it is, to know why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 001.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Captain_Loki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Loki/gifts).



> This is based on a prompt that [Captain_Loki@A03](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Loki/works) / [Captain-Snark@Tumblr](http://captain-snark.tumblr.com/) posted (see end of work for the prompt, but note it contains spoilers for this fic).
> 
> Cover art is [here](http://i.imgur.com/Uxr3VEH.png).
> 
> ETA; Click the text message ('where are you') for the screenshot :)

Life is different after Stiles graduates from college. Everything feels _safer_ , different and it’s possible that the difference is that no one is on-edge for something awful to happen. There is no threat of a rogue kanima, an angry Alpha pack, and even Peter Hale has been keeping his distance and has even stopped his meddling.

So when Stiles _finally_ convinces Derek that the loft is a really bad idea for housing and that his own dad might want the house to himself, rather than share it with his hyperactive adult son and his surly werewolf boyfriend, they come to a compromise of an apartment. One that is more inner city and just outside of Beacon Hills however still in the same county and jurisdiction of Sheriff Stilinski’s department. Just in case.

Things are not exactly tense or bad between Stiles’ dad and Derek, but he isn’t exactly having them over for Sunday evening dinners, either. So it makes sense for Stiles and Derek to move out on their own and they let the remaining pack members know that this is _their place_ and that each of them have their _own_ places to stay. In short: no random pack gatherings when Derek and Stiles are trying to settle into a relationship without interruptions of bad things and college classes and studying and exams, which made Stiles pretty unavailable for the last few years.

Despite the apartment being modest, a bit on the small side - there are two bedrooms - the main one being for Stiles and Derek and the second one turned into a workout room for Derek, plus a bathroom that has them bumping elbows if they share the sink, a kitchen and dining room connected, plus the living room - Stiles is happy where he is, and Derek seems comfortable and happy in his own way.

It doesn’t matter that there may be a few holes in the walls from when Isaac came in one night, too restless from the upcoming full moon and play-fighting with Scott and they left elbow-dents in the plaster. Derek always said that he would patch it up later, but he never got around to it, and Stiles didn’t care because it gave the front entry way character (and made their pizza delivery guy give them with funny looks sometimes if he saw it).

The kitchen sink leaks and the bathroom toilet is finicky. You have to hold the flusher down long enough for the water to fully drain before it will refill and only once Stiles has had to use a bucket of water from the bathtub to refill the back tank of the toilet. Only once, but he jokes this is their fixer-upper, and he didn’t want anything big at first. He just wanted Derek, and Derek just wanted _him_.

Which is what makes it so confusing when Derek doesn’t come to bed one night. Stiles took a longer than necessary shower because he wanted to try this exfoliating body wash Allison had been going on about that was for guys (and she had given both him and Scott a _look_ , as if hinting they should be moisturising). Stiles came out of the warm and steamy bathroom, letting the exhaust fan run to dry up the steam. He was chilly as he padded through the apartment to their bedroom, leaving wet footprints in his wake. His towel was loose around his waist and he planned on leaving it by the door as he climbed into bed with Derek, naked.

Derek wasn’t there when Stiles climbed in, and he turned the bedside lamp on to see the room was empty and Derek’s side of the bed undisturbed. Derek was there only twenty minutes before, and Stiles never heard him leave. He frowned and pulled on a pair of sweatpants he sometimes wore to sleep and went through the apartment before finally sending a text to Derek’s cellphone.

_**[where are you?](http://i.imgur.com/vD5EvZZ.png)**_

A second later he heard a buzzing and looked around, finally tracking Derek’s phone to the dining table where he left it, normally with his wallet and keys. The latter two were missing. Derek never left his phone - it was a _thing_ , if he wasn’t within ear or eye shot of Stiles, he at least needed to be able to text or call, make sure he was okay. Stiles picked up Derek’s, swiping his thumb across the screen to open the text and see if maybe Derek had got one that made him leave. Something pack-related maybe, but there was nothing. The only message - Derek cleared his often - was his from a minute ago.

Frowning, Stiles set Derek’s cellphone down, and looked at his own phone that he still held in his other hand. He wanted to text Scott, ask if something pack-related came up, but he didn’t. He was pretty sure everyone was just waiting for the day the magic wore off and Derek went back to manhandling Stiles rather than kissing him softly and holding him at night while they slept.

So Stiles took his phone with him to bed, setting it on the sheets as he settled in, planning to wait for Derek to either come home or call and offer some explanation, even though his phone isn’t with him and it’s not like he would just use a pay phone. It doesn’t take long before Stiles can’t help but fall asleep. The clock has gone from 10pm to 3am, his phone now on the night stand and his towel still soggy in the bedroom doorway. 

* * *

In the morning there is the smell of breakfast, and it rouses Stiles whose stomach is growling. He almost forgets that he’s a bit mad at Derek because when he comes out of the bedroom, his hair sticking up and his eyes half open, there’s coffee with breakfast, and the sweet smell of syrup, cooked into his pancakes. _It’s the little things,_ Stiles thought as he sat down, digging into his breakfsat and staying quiet for the first little while.

The dishes are sitting in the sink when Stiles remembers that it’s broken, it’s been leaking and has only gotten worse in the last few days. They’ve been mostly doing their dishes carefully with a towel on the floor in front of the counter to catch the leaking water, but that towel was soaked through and the soft dripping sound was noticeable now.

“I need to get a plumber up here,” Stiles told Derek, reaching for Derek’s cell phone because his ran out of minutes a week ago and his plan doesn’t reset for two more days. On the screen is Stiles’ text message that he sent last night, the time stamp 10:05pm, _where are you?_

Stiles immediately puts Derek’s phone down as if it burned him and he’s standing fast enough that his chair screeches across the floor. It earns him a funny look from Derek. “I’ll ask Scott if he knows of a good plumber,” Stiles says a bit too loudly, and disappears into the bedroom to get dressed for the day, tripping over the towel he left in the doorway last night.

Derek just watches Stiles leave, confused until he picks up his phone to check something and then he sees the unread message notification and swipes his thumb to unlock the screen. Stiles’ name comes up along with a message, seemingly sent last night. His gut clenches and he tries his hardest not to think about it the rest of the day. He waves off Stiles’ offer of a plumber and says he’ll fix it himself, that he just has to go out to get a few things to aid in repairs. Mostly, it’s get some air and _think_.

Derek doesn’t know what to tell Stiles if he’s becoming suspicious already.


	2. 002.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is convinced that Derek is cheating on him, since he’s disappearing some nights and coming home in clothes he didn’t wear out. Stiles wants to know who it is, to know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **NOTE:** This chapter is Stiles’ perspective, and the third chapter I will be adding is an optional read - it is a short perspective of Derek’s over this whole thing. This chapter's beta work is by the amazing [eczilon](http://eczilon.tumblr.com) \- thank you for your work on such short notice, and when you're sick to boot. ILUSFM.
> 
> Also, I never said I was good at writing porn, so beware! ;D

When the sink is finally fixed, there is the issue of Derek possibly cheating that still lingers. Stiles doesn’t know what to do about that. The adult response would be to confront him but he’s scared of the truth and it isn’t as though Derek is around enough for Stiles to really sit down and have a conversation with him.

Breakfast is usually a solitary affair, with Stiles picking out the dinosaur eggs in his instant oatmeal - the kind Derek wouldn’t eat because it’s ‘for children’ - and one leg bouncing under the table. He’s restless, worried, and afraid to hear the real reason why Derek isn’t here yet again. 

When it comes time to do laundry, Stiles leaves Derek’s to be done later because there are shirts he does not recognise and he does not want to think about who they might belong to. Derek preferred darker colours like black and charcoal grey, but these shirts were white v-necks and white tank-tops which had funny hard stains on the material. Stiles wasn’t going to go try and pick at what it may be because he _did not want to know_. 

 

Once Stiles runs out of books to read and college work to do, he starts looking up recipes and prints out his favourite ones, figuring that by spending his afternoons cooking, he’s at least distracting himself. It’s a bit stupid he thinks, because it isn’t as though Derek has been great about coming home for dinner, but Stiles does it anyway.

Derek does surprise him, showing up for dinner the one day he tries out one of the new recipes and later, when he’s doing dishes, Derek sneaks up behind him to wrap his arms around his waist. Stiles stiffens and when Derek leans in to kiss his neck, Stiles finds himself pulling away, making an excuse about needing a dry dish towel. He wants to crawl into the linen closet and stay there until Derek inevitably leaves, but he doesn’t. He’s an adult now, not a child, and so he returns to the kitchen and shortly after Derek leaves without word. The apartment door closes, leaving the apartment quiet and Stiles throws down his dish towel and grips the edge of the counter, trying to focus on his breathing, not the mounting panic in his chest.

Stiles realises how irrational it is but he grabs the keys to his jeep and follows Derek, catching him leaving the underground parking lot of their building just in time. He keeps a safe distance so Derek wouldn’t be able to see him if he looked in the rearview, and he has to pull into someone’s parking lot when Derek suddenly pulls over to the side of the road, in front of a house that has seen better days. It has a big sprawling yard and is set back up against the edge of the woods. The front porch looks as rickety as the one at Scott’s house but there’s a new paint job on the rest of the exterior, making the lots overgrown grass and weeds look out of place.

When Derek gets out of the car and starts across the front lawn, Stiles’ holds his breath. He expects to see whomever Derek is cheating with answer the door but it is worse than that: Derek uses a key on his keychain to unlock the front door and all Stiles can think of is, _he has a key to this person’s house_. When Derek disappears inside, the door closing behind him, Stiles gets out of his jeep so quickly that he trips, cutting his palm open on the gravel road.

He doesn’t notice it - he’s too into getting across that lawn and bursting in on his boyfriend with his mistress. When he gets to the front porch he doesn’t stop to think of whether or not he really wants to find out and so he bursts through the front door, looking around the empty front foyer. There’s something rustling in the room to his left so he goes there first, stepping into a living room with a fireplace, drop sheets covering most of the floor and a slew of construction lamps on stands illuminating the setup: paint cans, brushes and dirty rags litter the floor, a tool belt and nail gun are on a makeshift table made out of two paint cans and a plank of wood and in the middle of the room is Derek, no longer in his black teeshirt but a white v-neck and singing softly to something that is playing out of an old boom-box, balanced on the makeshift table with the tool belt.

No one else is in the room and after a few seconds of stunned silence, Stiles finally speaks. “Where is she?” he demands, watching Derek who looks as stunned as Stiles, if a bit guilty. Stiles deflates, and he can feel anxiety uncoiling in his stomach, rising up and making him feel hot and dizzy.

“Where is who, exactly?” Derek says carefully, frowning now.

“Don’t -- just _don’t_ ,” Stiles says, stepping further into the room. “Where is she? Or he - is it a he? Is this some kind of stupid role-play where you pretend to be the guy fixing up a house and then your mistress comes in and… you never fixed the leaking sink that’s been broken for months and now you’re _here_ helping your mistress what, paint the crown molding?!“

“ _Stiles_ ,” Derek says in a firm voice, looking at Stiles like he always does, the way you would look at a small child trying to eat bugs. “I’m not painting crown molding for my mistress, Stiles,” he continues, and crosses the room to place his hands on Stiles’ forearms, squeezing gently and grounding him, pulling him from his sordid thoughts to reality.

Stiles looks up at Derek, vulnerable and afraid. “Who is she?” he whispers and it breaks Derek’s heart. All this time, the apprehension was that Stiles thought he was going off each night to cheat on him - something Derek would _never_ do.

“There is no ‘she’, or a ‘he’,” Derek finally says, but Stiles pulls away, not looking convinced at all. Derek sighs, turning off the music and the room is suddenly too quiet.

“There is no mistress, Stiles, or mister, “ Derek starts to say, but Stiles cuts him off.

“Then what is it?”

Derek gives another sigh. “No, Stiles, Jesus — this house belongs to…” Derek trails off then, the reality of the situation kicking in. _Us,_ he thinks. _It belongs to **us**._ “ _I_ bought this house,” Derek finishes.

At first Stiles doesn’t say anything and when it all seems to click into place for him, he looks surprised and then confused as his thoughts catch up with him and everything makes sense suddenly. “You bought a house?”” he echoes, his voice as small as he feels.

“I bought _us_ a house,” Derek corrects, and Stiles melts. There is no other word for it - he _melts_ and all of his anxiety turns into a mixture of sappy, gooey feelings and he touches the frame of the doorway he’s standing in the middle of, feeling the freshly painted wood that’s still a bit tacky. “I just… _wow_ ,” he whispers in awe. “I have a house—“

“ _We_ have a house,” Derek corrects, crossing the room to where Stiles stands, and taking the hand that is about to mess up the paint job he did just the other night.

“A house just for me—“ Stiles continues to whisper, looking up at Derek now.

“A house for us,” Derek sighs. Even after all of these years, he still cannot get over -or get used to- the sappiness that Stiles would fall into whenever Derek did something for the two of them. Like the day they signed the lease together on their apartment. That one had left Derek feeling uncomfortable for quite some time.

“All mine,” Stiles simpers, his fingers laced with Derek’s and he allows himself to be led from the living room and up the stairs to the second floor.

“Ours,” Derek corrects again, leading him down the hall and into the master bedroom.

Derek doesn’t give Stiles a chance to chastise him for all of the nights he was left wondering, worrying. Instead, he kisses Stiles, softly at first and then a bit more deeply once Stiles bites at his lower lip.

Stiles doesn’t protest the hard wooden floor beneath his back when Derek lays him down, nor does he protest against the chill in the air as Derek pulls off his hoodie, then his teeshirt. He’s relieved just to be with Derek again, to know that he was being silly all along and there wasn’t any threat to their relationship at all.

“I’ve been worried for weeks,” Stiles murmurs, propping himself up on his elbows to watch Derek lovingly kiss each mole, from his collarbone to his hips. If this were a few weeks ago, he would have pushed at Derek’s shoulders to urge him lower but today he’s content with going just slow.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Derek murmurs against his skin, unbuttoning then unzipping Stiles’ jeans and pushing them down past his knees. It’s awkward, but for right now all Derek wants to do is kiss him and remind Stiles that he is all Derek ever wants.

Ever impatient, Stiles doesn’t last all that much longer before he switches from running his fingers through Derek’s hair to tugging then finally dislodging Derek from where he was between Stiles’ legs, marking his thigh. He kicks off his sneakers and slips out of the remainder of his clothing before starting in on Derek’s clothing, needing to feel more than just his lips. “No more teasing,” he says firmly, even as he is sucking a mark into Derek’s neck, his hands fumbling at unbuttoning Derek’s jeans.

“Wasn’t teasing,” Derek murmurs, and once his jeans are pushed down past his knees he switches their positions, sitting up against the wall and pulling Stiles into his lap. It isn’t often that he has Stiles in his lap like this - they’re usually too impatient and they both prefer it when Stiles is gripping the headboard, balancing on his knees. There isn’t lube and he didn’t think to stretch Stiles prior to this so he reaches between them to stroke the both of them. Stiles isn’t complaining; his eyes are closed and he’s leaning back with one hand braced on Derek’s thigh, squeezing as he thrusts up into Derek’s hand.

“Good,” Stiles breathes, licking his suddenly dry lips. “Because I would have to force you to sto---“ He trails off into a low groan, stilling his hips as Derek passes his thumb over the head. That’s all it takes to have Stiles say _fuck it_ and stop talking, his free hand joining Derek’s in stroking them both to completion.

It isn’t enough though, and Derek lays Stiles out, using their discarded clothes as a barrier between Stiles’ skin and the cold wooden floor. “I love you,” Derek tells him as he stretches Stiles first with two fingers, then three. He isn’t slow this time, wanting to feel him _now_. Patience is not something Derek has when it comes to Stiles, especially not when he’s slung one of Stiles’ legs up and over his hip and is pressing in.

Stiles tightens around him involuntarily and this time it is Derek who is swearing softly, losing all will to be gentle and roughly thrusting in the rest of the way. There isn’t anything to brace against so Stiles grips Derek’s shoulders, fingers digging into muscle hard enough to bruise except the marks never stay. In moments he is breathless again, giving stuttery moans and encouraging Derek on by meeting him for each thrust, until he cannot match Derek’s desperate rhythm anymore.

It isn’t romantic in the least, but after Stiles comes for a second time and Derek is close, Stiles leans up and nips sharply at Derek’s earlobe, whispering, “If you ever scare me like that again, you won’t have me for a week…”

It’s an idle threat - they both know that Stiles wouldn’t be able to last even half of a week. The sharp nip is what gets Derek off, and he buries his face in Stiles’ neck, breathing in his scent and giving a soft, contented sigh.

For a long while afterwards they hold one another, not wanting to be the first to break contact and move. Eventually the air becomes cold again, making the sweat on Stiles’ skin chill him and Derek’s body heat isn’t enough. “Shower?” Stiles asks softly, untangling him from Derek and cringing when he gets to his feet. The floor is colder than he thought and darkness is settling into the house now, casting shadows in the unlit room.

“No hot water,” Derek says apologetically. “But I’ll have it turned on tomorrow, along with the electricity.”

“Or forget for a month,” Stiles jokes lightly, reaching for his clothes. They could shower at the apartment and then Stiles can bring out the paint samples he might’ve kept hidden away _just in case_ they ever moved somewhere else. When they’re dressed again and the construction lamps are turned off, Derek locks the doors to the house behind them and Stiles moves to slip an arm around Derek’s waist. He’s happy, happier than he has been in quite some time and Derek doesn’t look as surly as usual. There isn’t a smile per say, but the look he gives Stiles is better than a smile - _they_ are in love, and Stiles just hugs himself closer to Derek as they walk across the overgrown lawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written based on [this prompt](http://captain-snark.tumblr.com/post/64574488407/still-needing-that-fic-where-stiles-is-convinced) (spoiler alert for the fic if you click the link) that [Captain_Loki@A03](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Loki/works) / [Captain-Snark@Tumblr](http://captain-snark.tumblr.com/) posted a few months ago. 
> 
> Dialogue and some text near the end shameless stolen from the prompt; it was pretty specific so I thought I would give what was asked - I couldn't have worded it better.
> 
> More tags will be added later (feel free to suggest some in comments). There is a part three but it is stand-alone. I consider this fic completed. I hope you've enjoyed and if you want to suggest a prompt to me, send it to [my Tumblr askbox](http://nixyrumancek.tumblr.com/ask) :)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](http://nixyrumancek.tumblr.com) and/or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/lycanthrosexual).

**Author's Note:**

> This is written based on [this prompt](http://captain-snark.tumblr.com/post/64574488407/still-needing-that-fic-where-stiles-is-convinced) (spoiler alert for the fic if you click the link) that [Captain_Loki@A03](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Loki/works) / [Captain-Snark@Tumblr](http://captain-snark.tumblr.com/) posted a few months ago.
> 
> More tags will be added later (feel free to suggest some in comments). Unbeta'd, and I apologise. I couldn't find anyone. Also, I switch tenses a lot. Oops. Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Also, feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](http://nixyrumancek.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](http://twitter.com/lycanthrosexual), I don't bite <3


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